You know the ones…the people who say what they don’t mean and mean what they don’t say. The ones who pretend like nothing is wrong, but then snap all of a sudden and you don’t understand why. The ones who are quiet throughout the day and give minimalist answers (“I’m fine.”) when you ask them a question, because they’re clearly annoyed with you.
Being passive-aggressive is a skill you learn extremely quickly as a child. You tell your friend to wait for the pink crayon because you aren’t finished coloring in Pooh’s ears. Then she gives you curt answers for the rest of the day. Your first boyfriend catches you checking out Johnny Depp in a poster and says, “Whatever, it’s not like we’re a thing anyway.” It’s everywhere, people.
And if you blink, you’ll miss it (which isn’t missing much, because passive-aggressiveness sucks). I feel like we are all guilty of it at some moment or another, but some people just use it as their only weapon, which is the bane of my existence (besides gun violence and the government trying to control women’s bodies…and actually a lot of other things; I really don’t understand why any of that rude sh*t still exists). That was a run-on sentence, so now you know I’m passionate.
People who are passive-aggressive use it as a weapon to combat insecurity, to avoid confrontation, to silently beg for attention, or to just be an a**wipe. I mean, really, the things I say in this video are kind of ridiculous when it comes down to it. If you care about someone, please do not torture them with your passive-aggressive ways. Actually, even if you don’t love the person, just don’t do it. Just don’t.
And yes, before you ask, I have reassurance for you; of course, #tinyblacktop was a necessary garment for this video.
Shefali Deshay is a Los Angeles-based singer-songwriter and actress. She graduated from the University of Southern California with a degree in Political Science and a minor in Musical Theatre. She co-starred as “Sita” in the comedy web series, “The Fob and I,” which gained traction in the media as a relatable series highlighting two strong South Asian women. Shefali creates weekly videos on struggles related to work, love, family, and being Indian on her YouTube channel. You can also follow her on Instagram and Facebook.