Single and Not So Ready to Mingle

by Mahrukh Zaidi

This past Valentine’s Day, as lovers came together to celebrate their love and the idea of everlasting commitment to their relationship, I found myself curled up in bed with my favorite book. The holiday had no meaning for me. I didn’t feel sad, lonely, or completely depressed at the fact that I was single. I had no emotions that day.

It’s to a point where I often wonder if there’s something wrong with me for not wanting that kind of commitment? Am I strange for being perfectly okay with being single? As I become older, the pressures of settling down are stressed upon me from every direction. However, I can’t help but feel uncomfortable at the prospect of finding “the one” and settling down.

I found this occurrence to be strange. After all, I had no reason to not want to find “the one.” It’s not like I went through tons of bad relationships or experiences with others. It wasn’t as if my trust was shattered and I needed time to “heal.” At this point in my life, it was none of those reasons. My reason for staying single was simple – because I liked it that way.

Delving more into my thoughts and pondering over my state of bliss of being single, I’ve decided – it’s completely okay to be single and love your life the way it is. It doesn’t mean something is missing in your life or you aren’t as good as others or that you don’t deserve love! Oftentimes it’s so easy to get caught up in finding “the one” and rushing to settle down, you can end up missing the beauty that comes with discovering yourself and enjoying “me” time.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think there are plenty of people who are in fantastic in relationships. Some people function better with a better half in the picture and if you are lucky to have found the one person who supports your every endeavor, that’s a huge accomplishment in itself. However, I have always been the type to be completely fine alone. Actually, I like it better that way. I can focus on finding my passions and things that matter to me.

After much thought, I’ve concluded, my status is single and not ready to mingle, although, that is not really approved by desi society norms. When the time comes, and I come across someone who is worth giving up the single girl status for, I will be more than happy to give up that title. In the meantime, it’s absolutely acceptable to not have the endless need and worry of finding my perfect soul mate.

My point being, ladies – if you find yourself single, and feel like you “have” to find someone soon to settle down with because that is what most people your age are doing, it’s a silly reason. Find someone to settle down with when you feel comfortable and not because it is the social norm to do. We all go through different life experiences at different times in our lives. If things look down, just remember you never know when you might meet Mr. Right. It might just be tomorrow!

Feature Image Source: www.bostinno.streetwise.co/2014/02/11/ready-to-mingle-a-new-survey-weighs-in-on-how-boston-ranks-for-singles/ecard/