Brown Girl Magazine
  • Home
  • Trending
    • In the News
    • Feminism
    • Politics
  • Entertainment
    • Bollywood
    • East-Meets-West
    • Filmy Buzz
    • Music
    • Cinema
    • BG Poetry
    • Good Reads
  • Culture
    • Social Activism
    • Breaking Taboos
    • Colonial Effects
    • Humanities
    • Identity
    • Indo-Caribbean
    • Tradition
  • Lifestyle
    • Beauty Buzz
    • Fashion
    • Foodie
    • Career
  • Health
    • Mental Health
    • Women’s Health
    • Clean Eats
    • Fitness 101
  • Relationships
    • Dating
    • Love
    • Parenting
    • Marriage
    • Sexuality
  • Community
    • BG Youth
    • Black Lives Matter
    • USA
    • United Kingdom
    • Canada
    • South Asia
    • Spotlight
  • Brown Boy
  • Listen
shop
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Trending
    • In the News
    • Feminism
    • Politics
  • Entertainment
    • Bollywood
    • East-Meets-West
    • Filmy Buzz
    • Music
    • Cinema
    • BG Poetry
    • Good Reads
  • Culture
    • Social Activism
    • Breaking Taboos
    • Colonial Effects
    • Humanities
    • Identity
    • Indo-Caribbean
    • Tradition
  • Lifestyle
    • Beauty Buzz
    • Fashion
    • Foodie
    • Career
  • Health
    • Mental Health
    • Women’s Health
    • Clean Eats
    • Fitness 101
  • Relationships
    • Dating
    • Love
    • Parenting
    • Marriage
    • Sexuality
  • Community
    • BG Youth
    • Black Lives Matter
    • USA
    • United Kingdom
    • Canada
    • South Asia
    • Spotlight
  • Brown Boy
  • Listen
shop
No Result
View All Result
Brown Girl Magazine
No Result
View All Result
Home BGBlog

How the College Indian Scene Gave me Social Phobia

Brown Girl Magazine by Brown Girl Magazine
July 25, 2022
in BGBlog, Hot Topics
0 0
0
How the College Indian Scene Gave me Social Phobia
0
SHARES
1
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

by DesiPen

My senior year of college was arguably the most social year of my life. With a freshly 21-year-old ID, I indulged in Taco Tuesdays, spent weekends in Vegas, tirelessly practiced into the night with my collegiate dance team, and tried every restaurant that Yelp recommended. Life couldn’t get any better—it was almost as though I was getting college credit for the amount of socializing I did. I got through each week daydreaming of Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, which consisted of drinks, dresses, and dates.

Fast-forward four years to today, I find myself halfway across the country in graduate school, with social challenges I never would have imagined during, what I now refer to as, the peak of my social life. Once a week, I meet with a counselor for an hour, mostly brainstorming things such as “breaking out of my shell” and “having more confidence.” When my parents dropped me off at graduate school I surprised myself when I literally cried for three days straight. As we were saying our final goodbyes, my mother held me and said “You were never like this. You used to be so social, what has happened?”

Only now, one full year into my master’s program, did I really give that question any thought. Had something happened between my college graduation and the start of my graduate program that made me such an introvert? Or had something around me changed?

I am no psychologist, but I do believe that environment influences behavior and the environment I was in in college was damaging for both my social skills and mental well being. I was guilty of every stereotype that guys make about Indian girls: dramatic, judgmental, competitive, ego-centric, etc. I never valued any of these qualities, and in fact, had always tried my best to avoid becoming these things, yet somehow, I fell into their trap.

My friends gossiped with me about our other friends, and then gossiped with our other friends about me. We spent hour upon superficial hour in front of the mirror trying to be the hottest girl at the party, but really fearing what other girls would say about our appearances. We hooked up with random guys and talked about it the next day. It felt like every move I made was for someone else, but never for me. The environment I was in was highly judgmental and catty—and it had made me that way too.

Now, tossed into the real world, I struggled with the basic act of just introducing myself to a classmate. I punctuated every sentence I spoke with an “I don’t know,” fearful that someone would judge my words. I spent Friday nights alone watching Netflix, because it seemed socially safer than being in an environment like the one I had been in before. The Indian college scene had completely deflated me!

Am I glad this happened? No. Did I learn anything from it? Absolutely. Many Indian girls inevitably make a choice to be in the Indian crowd or not; you can make the choice to be involved in your college Indian community, but also be aware of what messages your actions are sending out. Be the girl that everyone admires, because she never talks sh*t about anyone else. Thinking something negative is just as toxic as saying it, so re-frame your thoughts to be positive ones. Ones that nurture friends and relationships—not bring down others. Never doubt that Converse sneakers can can look as cute as complicated stilettos, and you don’t need to spend an hour getting ready if that’s not your thing. Wear your values with confidence and just be yourself—chances are no one will have anything to judge about someone so comfortable in their skin.

Featured Image Source: http://pixel.nymag.com/content/dam/daily/vulture/2013/03/06/06-mean-girls.jpg

Tags: collegemental healthsocial lifetaboo topics

Recent Posts

  • Sun and Skincare: South Asian Beauty Influencers Share Their Summer Season Must-Haves
  • Kayan Opens up About her Music Artistry
  • Decoding Dopamine Dressing This Summer
  • In Conversation With Ashok Amritraj: Celebrating his 40-Year Legacy
  • Enduring the Fight for Freedom

Recent Comments

  1. Op-Ed: Rihanna, Savage X Fenty, and the Continued Misuse and Disrespect of Hinduism on Dark Goddesses and me: Religious Colorism in Hindu India
  2. Celebrating International Mother Language Day and Multilingualism on On Language and Home: Revisiting Jhumpa Lahiri’s ‘In Other Words’
  3. What International Mother Language Day Means to British Bangladeshis on Celebrating International Mother Language Day with Self Reflection and Reclaiming One’s Bangladeshi Identity
  4. Book Review: Understanding Public Health on Deeper Level with 'Health Care of a Thousand Slights' by Anjana Sreedhar on Pursuing Inspiration: Former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy on Health Care, and Self-Care
  5. Book Review: ‘ZOM-FAM’ by Kama La Mackerel on Grazing Over Pages of Identities Unmilked: ‘The Cowherd’s Son’
Facebook-f Twitter Instagram Youtube Envelope

About

Founded as an online publication in 2008, Brown Girl Magazine is a multimedia company based in New York City with global reach dedicated to South Asian self-expression, cultural anchoring, and dialogue.
Through diverse, multimedia content and community building, we empower and engage those who identify as a part of the South Asian diaspora with a hyphenated identity.

Subscribe To The Spark

A curated newsletter full of dinner-table worthy topics, thought provoking stories, promo codes and the spiciest memes straight to your inbox.

Categories

  • Entertainment
  • Culture
  • Lifestyle
  • Health
  • Relationships
  • Community
  • Brown Boy

©Copyright Brown Girl Magazine Inc.

  • Company
  • About
  • Contact
  • Join
  • Advertise
  • Sponsored Content
  • Privacy Policy
  • Term of use
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Trending
    • In the News
    • Feminism
    • Politics
  • Entertainment
    • Bollywood
    • East-Meets-West
    • Filmy Buzz
    • Music
    • Cinema
    • BG Poetry
    • Good Reads
  • Culture
    • Social Activism
    • Breaking Taboos
    • Colonial Effects
    • Humanities
    • Identity
    • Indo-Caribbean
    • Tradition
  • Lifestyle
    • Beauty Buzz
    • Fashion
    • Foodie
    • Career
  • Health
    • Mental Health
    • Women’s Health
    • Clean Eats
    • Fitness 101
  • Relationships
    • Dating
    • Love
    • Parenting
    • Marriage
    • Sexuality
  • Community
    • BG Youth
    • Black Lives Matter
    • USA
    • United Kingdom
    • Canada
    • South Asia
    • Spotlight
  • Brown Boy
  • Listen

© 2023 JNews - Premium WordPress news & magazine theme by Jegtheme.

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In

Add New Playlist

Are you sure want to unlock this post?
Unlock left : 0
Are you sure want to cancel subscription?
Go to mobile version