Dear Women: Don’t be a ‘Do Nothin’ B**ch’

by Amrita Lit – Follow @amritasandhu88

It’s easy to be complacent. Take the easy road. Trust me, I’d be the first to know. But it sure isn’t easy to live with yourself after you do so.

The other day I was driving home and heard the local radio host talking about the famous female fighter, Ronda Rousey. They played a snippet of her speaking about how she was raised to not be a “do nothin’ b**ch.” She said that her mother was determined for her to be more than just a pretty girl who is a “do nothin’ b**ch” – basically, someone who just floats through life carelessly and without aspiration, because they’re a pretty girl fitting into a role of what’s expected of them.

For a long time, I struggled with feeling like I was one of these. I just couldn’t find the exact term for it. But now, there it is, extremely clear and staring me right in the face. I am determined to not fall into that mold and be lost in this belittling title of simply existing in the shadows of others.

When I was in school, I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment. That was my identity. That was who I was and what I lived for—to be the absolute best student I could be. I just thrived off the praise I got for my impressive grades. Well, as we know, all good things come to an end and I couldn’t be a professional student forever. So I ended up simply graduating and then getting married, not pursuing a career in my field of education.

This was mistake number one.

Believing that I would be okay assisting my husband reach his goals in life and not having any of my own was a major blunder, but not something irrevocably disastrous. I am happy to say that I have managed to find my way and be okay with my daily ongoings. Having a baby has a way of filling your day pretty darn quickly.

This isn’t to say that this is all I have set out for myself, to be a stay-at-home mom for the rest of my life. That would be mistake number two—one not quite as easy to bounce back from once my nest is empty.

Pouring yourself into those you love can be a very easy excuse to not DO SOMETHING with your life. It’s easy to merely exist and not make the years in your life worth anything. Time goes by quickly, and before you know it, you might hear a term like “do nothin’ b**ch” and think, ‘damn, that’s me.’ But it’s never too late to create change.

I see so many misguided youth obsessing over all the wrong things, just as I was. A ‘fairy-tale’ wedding, marriage, and living ‘happily ever after’ with your spouse and kids. Well, I’ll tell ya—things just aren’t as cookie-cutter perfect as that. There’s so much more life throws at you when you don’t set things up to be optimal for your own success and happiness.

So, for God’s sake, stop spending your time browsing wedding ‘inspo’ accounts on Instagram, or YouTubing the perfect slideshow song for your wedding receptions. Get out there, and DO SOMETHING, or else you might find yourself feeling like someone who’s not really doing a whole lot of anything.

Amrita Lit is a Manager at Prabu Foods Incorporation. She graduated from Kwantlen Polytechnic University with a Bachelor of Arts Majoring in Psychology. She enjoys utilizing social media platforms to raise awareness about socially and culturally relevant issues, and is releasing her own South Asian Young Adult Fiction Adventure novel in Spring 2017. For more info, visit: amritaliterature.com.